Old stuff what I wrote

So…I had blogs, and what not, in the past…their writings scattered across the internet.  They have laid dormant for years, but sometimes I like looking back and reading what I wrote back then…it’s like a time capsule of sorts, a way to see where I was in the past, and how far I have come since then, or how much I haven’t.  However the time has come to shut the old stuff down, so in order to preserve my time capsule, I am going to put everything here…even the stupid stuff.  I’ll try to go chronologically, but there are no guarantees…

The first few entries are from an old Blogger blog I had  Titled “Ass, grass, or gas, nobody rides for free”

December 30, 2005

So the New Year is coming…and as we all know it’s time for resolutions. I am going to lose weight, stop smoking, drive better, be more patient, take up underwater basket weaving etc…. Most of us have good intentions, we want to better ourselves, change bad habits, or start good ones. A new year is like a clean slate, fresh with no mistakes on it, the previous years resolutions ( and the failure to keep them) are forgotten, you know ” Should old acquaintance be forgot…” and all that jazz. So now there are 365 days ahead of you, and things look so promising, you want big things, you want change. I want change. In the past though, my resolutions, have been big goals, and like others I have crashed and burned with them. I realise now my mistakes in the previous years, I set this huge goal ( which in and of it’s self is a good thing) however, by setting that goal, and knowing the end result that I want with it, I lose focus on the small steps that lead me to my goal. I end up facing this huge mountain that I feel like I can not get over, and I quit. So this year I am inspired by a friend of mine, her goal is simple, a series of small steps that will take her over the mountain so to speak. Her goal ( and now mine as well) is to eat healthier each day of the new year, to make wiser choices in her meals, to be more careful with what she puts into her body. No focus on weight loss, or exercise, or getting cut, no crazy crash diets, or miracle weight loss drugs…just to eat better. I think it is a wise idea, and something attainable, something you only focus on for that day, until 365 days have passed. So starting January 1st, 2006 I am joining her on her quest for healthier eating, and if I flub up and eat crap one day, I am not going to quit, and chuck it all, I am simply going to tell my self that ” Tomorrow is a new day, fresh with no mistakes on it.” I am going to post here to keep track of my choices, so see what triggers me to eat that cookie instead of a piece of fruit, and to be honest with myself about my choices. So there it is my resolution, I am anxious to start, and to see where I end up on December 31st, 2006.

December 31, 2005

Looking at some of my other cohorts blogs (Robin’s) I realise that I should make a list, you know outline steps for this process. Why make a list you ask? Well because I tend to be forgetful sometimes….. ok a lot of the time. I used to have a great memory, I could tell you what day of the week July 18th, fell on 3 years ago, now I am lucky if I can tell you what day of the week yesterday was, but my lack of memory right now is besides the point. I supposed to be making a list, so here it is.

  • Drink more water- I like water, I just tend to drink other things instead.
  • Cut back on my coffee intake- This is what I usually drink in place of water, and I need to scale it back a bit so I am limiting myself to only 2 cups a day ( and I mean real cups,not my gargantuan mugs that I have)
  • Eat more vegetables-I like vegetables, but I tend not to buy them much since no one else in my family will touch them with a ten foot pole. So I will buy more of the vegetable I like and just make them for myself.
  • Eat fruit when I am craving something sweet-This one should be easy, since I do tend to keep a lot of fruit in the house for the kids, I just need to pick up and apple instead of a cookie when I am wanting something sweet, or have the nibbles between meals
  • Eat breakfast-This is a big one for me, I tend not to eat breakfast, I honestly don’t have an appetite when I first get up, and I am focused on getting the kids breakfast, and getting them dressed, I don’t take the time to make something for me. I am thinking even if all I get in is some yogurt, and fruit, or a piece of toast with peanut butter, it will be a start.
  • Eat at more regular times- I think this is my biggest down fall here, I eat meals at sporadic times. EX: No breakfast, then lunch (for me) sometime between noon, and 2:00, and dinner between, 5:00-7:30. Since my meals are so sporadic, and far between, it gives me more time to eat junk, so I think if I make an eating schedule, my body will regulate it’s self better ( my metabolism, blood sugar etc..) and I won’t have as many cravings.
  • No eating after 7:00p.m.- This here is another down fall of mine eating something late, and then going to bed, I think this one will be easier on me if I…
  • Go to bed earlier- I am a night owl, I tend to stay up till 2:00 a.m., get up around 8:30, and wonder why I am so tired all the time, and of course being up that late, I get hungry. So I am going to start gradually going to bed a little earlier each night until I hit my goal of being in bed by 11:00 p.m. That is a realistic time for me, it’s not to late, and it still gives me sometime to myself after the kids and my husband have gone to bed.
  • Get up earlier- As I am attaining my goal of going to bed earlier, I am also going to gradually getting up earlier in the morning, this way I have some time to myself in the mornings, to shower (uninterrupted) have a cup of coffee, read the paper, and give my self time to be able to stomach breakfast. This will also give me a chance to see and talk to my husband before he goes off for a long day of work.
  • Get outside, get active-This is not some balls to the wall exercise plan. This is simply getting outside to walk, or play, get some fresh air, just plain get more active.
  • Get back into my hobbies- I have neglected my art for a long time, replacing it for Noggin, and Blues Clues, or just plain staring at the t.v. while automatically eating something, not even aware of the taste or what it is exactly that I am eating. I am going to replace this with getting back into my painting, I love painting, I miss it, plus it is hard to stuff your face with a pallet in one hand and a brush in the other, that and paint covered food is not so yummy.

So there is my list, and knowing how I am, I have probably forgotten something, so expect some additions at a later date, but all in all I think it is a good place to start.

Post Script– As promised I am back to add more to my list ( I couldn’t let you all down could I? LOL)

  • Eat slower- Ok I used to be a slow eater, savoring my food as I ate it, lately though I have found myself trying as eat as fast as I can, mainly because dinner time with children often involves a lot of getting up and down from the table, so basically I am shoving the food in there as quick as possible, before I have to get something or chase down a child who feels it’s necessary to dance and run around in a circle while exalting the joys of chicken. Instead of trying to rush myself I am going to take my time as I eat (between fetching a sippy cup from under the table for the umpteenth time). Not only will I enjoy my food more, but it has the added benefit of allowing my brain to catch up to my stomach. See it takes about 20 minutes for the “full” signal to go from your stomach to your brain and back, if you eat hurriedly by the time that 20 minutes has passed, you are already to full. Basically it helps you to eat what is appropriate for your body, not to much, and not to little…just the right amount.
  • Cut down on my red meat- Not eradicate it entirely but scale it, only have it once or twice a week, and replace one of my red meat servings a week with fish, and one with a legume of some sort. Fish is better for me, and I need to eat more of it ( and I am not talking about fish sticks)
  • Cut back on fried foods- Ok I am going to be very honest here, there is no way on this green earth that I am going to cut out all fried foods from my diet. It’s just not going to happen. However I can cut back on it…alot only have “real” fried chicken once a month, or chicken fried steak etc… It will only be a special thing, once in a while, and find alternative ways to cook the foods that we normally eat fried. I do have one thing going in my favor though, I can not stand deep fried batter foods (i.e. corndogs, batter fried fish, tempura, and the like)
  • Learning how to make my own bread-This has actually been a goal of mine for a while. See I love whole wheat, and multi grain breads, I prefer them over white bread any day of the week. The thing is though whole wheat, and multi grain breads are (and I am talking 100 percent, natural healthy) more expensive than you’re plain Jane white bread. I want to by the end of this year to successfully make my own whole grain breads ( and unless I get a bread maker, this will be done by hand) Not only will it be less expensive, but there won’t be any preservative, or additives, and I will know exactly what is going into my bread. Besides nothing is yummier than fresh baked bread.

Ok, I think that is it, of course if it’s not, as usual I will be back. 😛

1/1/06

We begin at the beginning, because the beginning is a very good place to start

First off, I want to wish everyone a Happy New Year…and to you lushes in the back still hung over from last night…HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!Ok so now that we got our greetings out of the way, let me share how today went.

First off, I ate breakfast, which honestly was a challenge for me, after so many years of not doing it, it was hard to get my mouth, and stomach to cooperate with my brain. I am definitely going to have to wait about 30 minutes after I wake up, before I try putting food in me. I had 2 slices of wheat toast, with some peanut butter, and a touch of honey, and a fat free cup of strawberry/banana yogurt. I also had a cup of coffee with it, it was so hard not to make a big pot of coffee, and pour it in my big thermos mug, and call it a day, it took great restraint. I may have to invest in one of those one cup coffee maker things….but I may have to hold out on that till Starbucks starts making coffee pods, lol. I also drank a large glass of water with breakfast too, and actually that helped perk me up a bit, I know that a big reason I feel sluggish so often is I am not as hydrated as I should be, drinking more water will definitely improve that.
For lunch, we were out and about, so we stopped off to eat at Wendys, so I had one of their salads, the Asian chicken salad, it was good, but man those things are big, lol, so I didn’t eat it all, cause after about 2/3 of it I was full ( hehe, eating breakfast is already paying off). We did some shopping, I bought a couple of shirts, and then decided to live life on the wild side…I bought a pair of shoes. Oh Wow, I hear you say? So what, you bought shoes, you say? Well let me tell you I bought a pair of shoes that have a heel on them. I know, I know, you’re say big fat deal, but it it for me, I wear nothing but flats….nothing, it’s either flip flops, and sandal’s, or my tennies, or my Clarks, and they are all flat. I thought I might be a little girly and buy something that is cute, and even a little feminine. They are not big heels, heck they are maybe an inch ( I think they are what is called a “kitten heel”) but it is something new to me.
For dinner, I baked a chicken, and had that with roasted zucchini, steamed asparagus, and some cous cous ( I made potatoes for the boys, other wise they would feel unloved, lol) . It was great, man I love veggies, and I have missed them. My husband, is being very supportive, and since he is looking to get back in shape and be healthier, is thinking of joining the bandwagon, he even tried some roasted zucchini, which if you knew my husband you would know that is a huge thing.
My water intake was better today, but is not what it should be, I however stuck to my two cups of coffee rule ( which is a big thing for me) I had my cup with breakfast, and them I had a small cup from Starbucks, when we were out shopping. I stopped in to my regular Starbucks ( and when I say regular, I mean they know what I want and start making it before I even order it) I had to tell them I didn’t want my usual Venti blackeye (regular coffee with 2 shots of espresso) I just wanted a tall coffee, my local baristas where befuddled to say the least.
I didn’t find my self eating much between meals today, but that may have been mostly cause I wasn’t at home much today, but I did eat and orange and one Gulab Jam (an Indian sweet) about an hour and a half before dinner. Tuesday will be the true test, that is the day when our schedules go back to normal, dh goes back to work, and my son goes back to school, and I will be home the better part of the day.
I have not weighed my self yet, but this is because I don’t own a scale, never have honestly (not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing) so I may have to pay .25 cents and hop on the one at the grocery store, it’s pretty accurate, plus it will give me my winning lottery numbers…hey you can’t beat that with a stick. I would use the one at my mother in laws house, but that is nice scale, and it tends to be a little to flattering. Once I weigh myself, I jot it down, and have a record of my starting point.
So that is today, not a bad start, but lots of room for improvement, but once I have run out of room for improvement it should leave more room in my pants.

1/2/06

I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts…diddly dee

Ok not really, but that song has bee running through my head so I had to share ( cause I am nice like that). This will probably be a short post, because it is late, and the minutes till today’s appointed bed time are ticking away. I am trying to go to bed earlier, now I know my self, and I know that if I try to just jump into bed at 11:00, I’ll lay there…awake..till 2:00 a.m. so I am trying to go to bed 15 minutes earlier each night till I hit my 11:00 goal. I am just going to hit the highlights of the day.

  • Ate pretty good, supper could have been more well rounded, but I we were in a hurry to go see fil before visiting hours were over.
  • Got my Christmas tree, and all decorations taken down. My living room looks so bare now, and I think I need to get like a fake ficus or something.
  • I went over board on the coffee, I was barely awake and wasn’t thinking clearly, and I made my normal amount (6 cups). I drank it…..What??!! I had to, it’s Starbucks Christmas blend, they only make it once a year, and it would be wasteful.
  • I did drink more water ( I had to counteract the coffee you know) so, I felt good that I accomplished that. Reminds me I need to refill my water pitcher before I go to bed.
  • I didn’t get out and walk, but I did get some exercise, I popped in Madonna’s new C.D. and me and the kids danced to the whole thing..ok well my 18 month old pooped out after 4 tracks, but my son and I cut some serious rug, it felt good, but boy was I tired after words. (BTW I highly recommend her new C.D. “Confessions On A Dance Floor” for working out to, it has a great beat.)

That’s the abbreviated version of my day, I’ll try to get on here earlier tomorrow, so I can be more thorough, but until then I wish you all adieu, and pleasant dreams.

1/3/06

Since we are recipe swapping….

Here are some of my favoritesTaboleh

1/2 cup medium grain bulgur
1 1/4 cups water
4 cups loosely packed, roughly chopped flat-leaf parsley, about 3 bunches
1 1/2 cups peeled and diced tomatoes, about 3 to 5 Roma tomatoes,
1/4 cup green onions chopped, white and some of the green, about 2 green onions
1/4 to 1/2 cup loosely packed, roughly chopped mint leaves

For the dressing:
1/4 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice
1/4 teaspoon minced garlic Pinch of salt
1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil

Bring water to a boil, pour in bulgur, stir, cover, and turn off heat. Let stand 20 to 25 minutes or until most of the liquid is absorbed and bulgur is fluffy and tender. Pour off any remaining liquid.
To prepare dressing, in a small non-reactive bowl, whisk together lemon juice, garlic, salt and oil. Taste and adjust seasonings.
In a large salad bowl, toss together parsley, tomatoes, green onions and mint. Add bulgur. Pour dressing over salad, toss to combine. Taste and adjust seasonings.

I got this next one from the Food Network website, it is yummy especially if you like cabbage

Braised Red Cabbage with Apples

1 (3 pound) red cabbage
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 onion, chopped
3 medium-sized tart cooking apples, peeled, cored and cut into 1/8-inch-thick wedges
5 cups boiling water
2/3 cup red wine vinegar
2 teaspoons salt
2 tablespoons sugar

Wash the head of cabbage under cold running water, remove the tough outer leaves, and cut cabbage into quarters. To shred the cabbage, cut out the core and slice the quarters crosswise into 1/8?inch-wide strips.
In a heavy 4 to 5-quart casserole, heat the oil over moderate heat. Add chopped onions and cook, stirring frequently for 5 minutes, or until the onions are lightly browned. Add the cabbage, stir thoroughly, add the apples, and pour in the boiling water. Bring to a boil over high heat, stirring occasionally, and reduce the heat to very low. Add red wine vinegar, salt and sugar, stir to combine. Cover and simmer for 1 1/2 to 2 hours, or until the cabbage is tender. Check from time to time to make sure that the cabbage is moist and tender. If it seems dry, add a tablespoon of boiling water. When the cabbage is done, there should be almost no liquid left in the casserole. Taste for seasoning, then transfer the entire contents of the casserole to a heated platter or bowl and serve

I have more, but I am going to have to break out the recipes, for ya, since some of the things I cook I don’t measure anymore, I eyeball it.

1/9/06

Ummmm Yea!

Ok so I have been absent, but I have a good reason…I do really. I’ve had the stomach flu (see I told you I had a good reason) so it doesn’t make much sense to come on here and tell you how I have been eating, when all I have subsisting on for nearly 4 days is water, chamomile tea, and dry toast. It’s been fun. (rolls eyes) Honestly I’d rather be poked in the eye than be sick to my stomach, and that says a lot since being poked in the eye hurts..a lot. I am slowly on the mend, the sight or smell of food is not quite so repulsive today, and I am actually feeling a little hungry. ( and no I am not pregnant, I’ve already been asked that several times over the weekend, it’s funny how a woman puking can send her family members into a state of panic, and no, it’s not from sympathy). On a good note though I drastically cut down on my coffee intake (I have to be seriously sick to not drink coffee), my water intake has been up, and bad foods have been non existent, oh what am I saying being nauseous sucks, I don’t recommend it at all. Ugh! So that’s it for now, once I am back to normal I will be keeping better track of things….oh yea, and stay away from the stomach flu.
1/16/06

I have been remiss 😦

*Sigh* Ok so this time I have no excuse or reasons, I have just been negligent, sorry everyone, I know we are all in this together, so I feel I have let you all down in a way. Ok so since my last post, things have been going good, I am drinking more water, and I tell you it’s really been making me feel great, I never really realized how under hydrated I was, it’s amazing what even a little extra water can do for the body. My lips aren’t as dry any more, I am losing some water weight, my fingers a don’t get as swollen, and my headaches have become milder and less frequent ( with exception of eye strain ones). It’s funny how putting more water in you makes you retain less. I have been a lot better about eating fruit for a snack, instead of something cakey ( I am not much of a candy eater, or ice cream, but pies, pastries and cakes..mainly cheesecake, are a big weakness of mine) I do keep graham crackers on hand for when I want something sweet, and 2 of those do the trick.I have also realized how erratic my eating has been, no breakfast, sometimes no lunch, and then out of desperate hunger eat something full of empty calories and no nutritional value, then be to full to eat a proper dinner, end up hungry a couple of hours later, try to ignore it, only to give in at about midnight, and make a greasy egg sandwich and go to sleep, to wake up and start it all over again the next day. Now it is not that I was trying to starve myself or anything, or that I was denying myself food, but it is out of procrastination. Yes you read that right, I am a procrastinator, so much so that I would put off eating. I’d be hungry, and think ” Hey I should eat something….but let me finish this ( whatever I was doing) first” I would do that many times in a day up until the point that I couldn’t stand it anymore, then I would eat anything I could get my hands on. I have since realized since starting this road to healthier eating, that while I may have not been eating a lot of actual food at that time, what I was eating was full of calories, and fat and startch all at once. Now that I am making a conscience effort to eat at more regular times, eat more appropriate foods, and eat less more often, I am not as hungry all the time, I am less inclined to “pig out” on something laden with saturated fats, and hydrodgenated oils. Because I am not hungry all the time, I am not putting the first thing I see in the fridge into my mouth just to get my stomach to stop screeching at me, and while I may still have something that is deemed bad ( like a piece of pie) I don’t feel the need to eat as much of it, or as often. My body is already starting to thank because of this, it’s a little easier to get up in the morning, my rings are starting to fit again, my shoes are a little looser, and so are my pants. It feels great, not because I am getting smaller, but because I am feeling healthier.

Now there is one thing that I have had to take 2 steps back on, and that is my coffee intake, my goal was to only drink 2 cups of coffee a day……ummm yea, that’s not happening right now, lol. At first I was okay with it, but gradually I noticed that I was being kind of short, with dh and the kids, and then I started being “Mrs Grumpy Gills” man I was being a turd, so after ruling out some other things ( like lack of sleep, lack of water, hungry) I noticed that it was the lack of caffeine, so for the sake, and well being of my family (lol) I went up to 3 cups of coffee a day. So far so good, and I hope I can keep it at that, I am also making sure that I drink an extra glass of water to counteract the diuretic effect of the caffeine. I feel less grumpy now, but I am going to start trying to do some meditation to help me relax, and re energize myself, as a opposed to adding more caffeine to my diet. I think that will help me a lot more than an extra cup of coffee.

So this is where I am at right now, there is still much more improvement ahead of me, but I am optimistic, that if I set my mind to my goals ( and not procrastinate) I will be able to stay the course, heck this is the farthest I have ever gotten with a New Years Resolution, and I think that bodes quite well for me.

1/17/06

Yea, though I walk through the valley of cinnamon rolls…

…I will fear no Pecan Sticky Bun, for my willpower art with me;
My fruit and yogurt shall comfort me……sort of…I think.
I had to go to the bakery today, for my mother in law, she needed a cake picked up for something, and couldn’t get away from work. Being the nice person I am ( with right dosage of caffeine anyway) I am more than willing to help her out. I figured it be no big thing probably something from the grocery store bakery, and while some of their things are tempting, I am usually not to tempted when I go there. Well no, it wasn’t that simple, this…this was a special cake, one that can of course only be found at my most favorite bakery in town. You know the kind I am talking about, every town has one, the one where everything is fresh baked, nothing sits out more than a day, where everything is so good, that just glancing at that turtle cheesecake adds an inch to every surface of your body…yea so that’s where I had to go. I can be strong I can do this, I am only there to pick up this cake, I am not even going to look at anything, I am going to focus on the people behind the counter, and the ceiling. I am just going to walk in and walk out…..*sniff, sniff* Oh Lord no, nooooo what is that smell…Oh God it’s cinnamon rolls…and what else is that…..Lord have mercy on my ass it’s pecan sticky buns! Now had I not been there for a purpose, and not already startled the counter people with my whimpers of lust, I would have bolted for the door as soon as I smelled all that gooey goodness. I had to stay, I had to pick up this cake…it’s not for me…it’s for the retiring teachers, I must do it for the teachers. I try to chant in my head that I have some super yummy low fat vanilla yogurt at home, and, and…I can mix in some chunky applesauce…yea that’s it…and some cinnamon..ohhh yea cinnamon..it’ll be just like apple pie ala mode…mmmhmmm exactly the same. Except it’s not…so I caved and bought one of those fresh from the oven cinnamon roll…oh yea and I got the cake too. I did hold out and not eat the whole thing, and I waited till I got home, put dd in her high chair and split it with her, and you know what, I think that was the most enjoyable cinnamon roll I have had in awhile. Not because it was sweet, and gooey, and cakey, but I sat down and ate it with a knife and fork enjoying each bite, instead of stuffing it in my maw the moment I got in the car. I mean I know that eating it was not a good thing, but I look at it this way, in the past I would have bought more than 1 ( say 4) would have eaten it so fast that I would have barely tasted it, and then gone for another, because the first one would have not had time to register with my brain that one was indeed enough. With this half a cinnamon roll, I savored it, tasted it, enjoyed it, and when I was done, I knew that, that was enough, it was satisfying, and I didn’t need another. I mean I am going to be very honest and say that I am not willing to cut everything fattening, and gooey, and horribly calorie laden from my diet forever, I am just not. What I am going to do, is not make those foods my sole form of nutrition anymore, and that’s what I have been doing in the past. Grabbing doughnuts is much easier than making an eggwhite omelet full of veggies, picking up McDonald’s is a lot easier than making a roasted chicken, I have been conviencing myself to death, thats my problem right there. So while occasionally I might buy a doughnut, it’s not going to be my breakfast, and it’s going to be just one, and not one a day. Am I making sense? I am not going to deprive myself, because I have found that depriving myself of something makes me want it more, until it’s all I can think about, and then I go down in flames. I am going to allow myself two days a month to eat something that is “bad” for me, knowing that while two pecan buns would be nice, one will be enough, and I am not going to punish myself over it, because it in the scheme of things one is not going to blow me off track, in fact just that “one” is probably going to keep on it, because it is not forbidden, it’s just not as important anymore.
1/23/06

Pppfffftttttt…..:oP

Oy, so here’s how it goes, I am doing pretty good with my eating, my snacking has been meaning full, meaning I have been eating fruit, and I did buy some of those flavored rice and popcorn mini cakes, ( those are really good BTW especially the cinnamon sugar ones, or yea and the caramel ones too) crispy wheat pita wedges with some hummus, or tzaziki sauce. Soy ice cream, or Tofutti, whichever for an occasional sweet fix ( I do actually like soy ice cream, I think it tastes better than the fat free/ sugar free milk ice cream). Lunch, and dinners have been going well, eating at more stable times, which is not only better for me but, the kids need that structure too. ( We normally would wait till dh got home from work, so dinner time varied). Water intake has been good, I also got some Lipton Instant Iced Green Tea mix, it’s those individual sizes for like a 20oz water bottle, those are really good, I especially like the orange mango flavor, adds a little variety to things. So I am feeling good about those things I really am, they are small steps, but the whole ” A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step” thing lets me know I am heading in the right direction. So I am doing good, but…..Here are the things I am struggling with, I am having a heck of a time getting to bed earlier. It seems like every night I find something that keeps me awake until the wee hours of the morning. I knew that this would be a hard habit to break, I have been a night owl for so many years, and late at night is when I get things done you know. Late at night is MY time, this is when I decompress, or do laundry, wash dishes, clean the living room, read a book etc… it’s just when I get things done. I think the crux of it is that I am having a hard time shifting the things I normally do late at night to normal daylight hours, at night I don’t have little ones under foot, or going behind me and scattering the blocks I just picked up, or unfolding the clothes that I just folded. I mean I do have about and hour to an hour and a half during the day when I can get some things done, but I am just having a hard time figuring out how. I am not a neat freak by any stretch of the imagination, lol, but it is frustrating trying to do things that normally you do un interrupted, with a set of small hands interfering, it’s an adjustment for my kids too. I know I will get it down, but it bums me out because by now, according to my plan, I would be going to bed by 11 p.m. by now, and getting up at 6:30 a.m., as it stands though I am still not getting to bed till about 2a.m. and getting up at 8-8:30 a.m. Six hours or less of sleep was ok when I was 22/23 but now I can feel the toll it takes on me during the day.

I am also still having trouble eating breakfast in the morning, I mean a real struggle, I have even been waiting a good 30-45 minutes after I wake up before I eat, but still I just can’t quite stomach it. It does help a lot that I am eating lunch at a reasonable time now, so I am less inclined to scavage the fridge looking for tasty morsels, but I know that eating breakfast will help with my metabolism during the day. Of course it all is one big viscous circle, if I was going to bed earlier, and getting up earlier, I could then wait maybe 2 hours, by then I should be able to stomach food, and still be able to eat breakfast at a decent hour. I know, I know it’s all very clear to me….. it’s just getting the rest of my brain to understand is where the difficulty lies.

2/11/06

 wonder if my body is retaliating?

I really do. I wonder if it’s rebelling against the healthy food, the more water, less caffeine, increase in activity. The reason I wonder this is, is because 42 days since I started this I have been sick, under the weather, or being attacked by allergiens more than usual. In reality I rarely get sick, even in my unhealthful ways of living in the past I have (had?) a pretty good immune system. Now though it seems like my body is having a revolt, seriously, first it’s the stomach flu which I haven’t had since I was what 15, although there was that nasty bout of food poisoning, from a bad Monte Christo ( You don’t really want to know…really) when I was 18 but that doesn’t really count. Then there is this constant attack of the cedar allergies, which have bothered be slightly in the past, but not to the extent or severity as they have this year. Which (for now) is topped off with a cold, not just a cold but a combination of an ear infection, sinus infection, and strep throat ( again something I haven’t had since I was 11, when I finally had my tonsils removed). It’s a conspiracy I tell ya. The ole’ insides are pissed that they aren’t getting the yummy, creamy, fatty, goodies as often, and they are staging a mutiny……I am the Captian of this ship you mutiness bastards and ye will do as I say….Arrrrgghh! I mean it just smacks of irony does it not, here I am doing healthier things for my self, and yet I am experiencing less health? My body should be thanking me, not turning on me, I mean I guess there is a period of adjustment, but….. come on. They will not deter me though, I will force my body into submission I will punish them for their rebel rousing, and assault, for you see I have antibiotics now, yes and high powered sinus medication…big ones. They will suffer their foolish ways, and then willing follow me on this journey….whether they like it or not..Bwahahahahha!!!On a good note I got weighed at the doctors office, and though I know that I have lost some weight (ok a little more than some, because I am having trouble keeping my pants up) but the number on the scale was about 10lbs less than I thought it was. It was 242, I thought it would be 250something, and I started at a bit over 260, so I can’t be too mad at my body, it’s heading in the right direction, it just needs to stop being so damn stubborn about it.

2/18/06

It’s my party, and I’ll eat cake if I want too

So yea, my birthday is coming up, and dh is getting all anxious about it. Why you say? Well it’s not because he is afraid he will forget it, or if he’ll be able to get the “perfect” gift, no he’s anxious because he wants to know I will still be making my “special” cake for my birthday. Yes I make my own birthday cake, and it’s really not as pathetic as it sounds, actually I wouldn’t have it any other way. By making my own cake I know I am getting exactly what I want. So what is so special about this cake that the mere thought that I may not make it has my husband pacing the floors, I don’t know really except that it is a damn good cake, if I do say so my self.***Warning, drool inducing description to follow***
All it is a 3 layer chocolate torte, with chocolate buttercreame filling, and chocolate ganache icing, really plain, really. :oP

Since I have started this, I have drastically cut down on making my baked goods, not because I am trying to force my family to comply with my decision to eat less junk ( though they have by default) it’s just the mentality of if I don’t bake or buy it, it’s not in the house, and if it’s not in the house I won’t eat it. I guess all of this has put my poor husband in duress, and in desperate need for some homebaked sweetness, lol. He has even been scouring his mom’s diabetic cookbooks trying to find a healthier version, but to no avail ( really it’s kind of pointless trying to make buttercreme without butter) but I love him for trying. So since this will be my last year in my 20’s, I figure I do need a good send off, and well….my birthday does only come once a year…so I guess I can make my cake, I mean really I am doing it more for my family than myself….yea that’s it…I am doing it for the children… ( I hope you guys are buying this, lol) Honestly, I never thought about not making my cake, I normally only eat 2 or 3 slices of it (not all at once though, lol) because it is very rich, and a couple of slices is all I need for a year. I just was touched by the thoughtfulness of dh (even if it was partially in his own interests) trying to find a healthier version so I could still have my cake and eat it too. Now since I am going to be making my regular cake, and don’t need to find a healthier version, this should leave dh plenty of time to focus his search on getting me that “perfect” gift….the question is should I just tell him what I want, or should I make him suffer…after all I will be slaving away making my own birthday cake, lmao.

9/11/08

Wow…I forgot all about this blog

—————-
via FoxyTunes Well forgot about the blog, and forgot the password…I am a forgetful person. Anyway, geez it’s been a really long time since I posted here. I did lose some weight doing the eat healthy kick, but mainly I just felt better, had more energy, didn’t feel tired all the tme, so all and all it was a good thing. I think though I am just going to make this a regular blog from now on. I have another blog but it’s mainly goofy stuff, and used for communities. Maybe I’ll experiament with a bit of food blogging, and have it be a little more well rounded than my other one. Or I might forget about it for two years again..who knows, I hope not. Speaking of food, I better get off of here so that I don’t burn dinner…that would be a bad start to potential food bloggish type posts.Till Later ~

—- That was the end of that blog… and I did indeed forget about it for 2 years, in fact the entry after that last one was on September 20, 2010, and is one that is one that ended up on my other WordPress blog, the one I transferred all the recipes from.. the one titled “Real Women Have Curves…”  (droppingastoneortwo) I did try food blogging there but had trouble getting the photos on there correctly and switched over WordPress.
The next grouping will be from an old Livejournal account, and it is more mundane, with no real topic, just daily stuff…first I have to remember which version of the fabootay user name I used for it, so I can open it up.

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